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Welcome to the Ultimate Poker Face-off, a poker competition for the 21st Century. On these pages you will witness the most difficult challenge ever devised in professional poker. Most importantly we will answer the question: WHO WOULD WIN? A freeroll whore or a can man? Can a player grind freeroll tournaments faster than a person can dig through garbage cans for soda cans? Would anyone be willing to publicly humiliate themselves this way? We already know the answer to the last question is “yes.”

To non-poker players out there, here it is in English. One person will be playing in free poker tournaments that have small cash prizes known as freerolls. The other will be digging through garbage cans for soda and beer cans and cashing them in. They are racing against each other to make the most money in the shortest amount of time.

Ultimate Poker Bankroll and Rakeback Resource and Poker in the Rear are sponsoring a face-off between a freeroller and a can man. The rules are simple:

1. The freeroller must start his bankroll at $0 and must create a bankroll from only freerolls. Once he has won some cash in freerolls he can risk this in real money play, but that bankroll must come from freerolls.

2. The can man can only collect cans to create his bankroll. He cannot collect cans from friends or family.

3. Both men must document their progress in daily updates with text and photos to document their progress. The freeroller must provide screen shots of his freeroll results and the can man must provide pictures of where he collects his cans.

4. The freeroller can play freerolls on multiple sites.

5. The can man cannot risk his can money in poker games. He can only make money through can collection.

6. The first competitor to $100 wins.

The winner gets a $100 prize courtesy of Ultimate Poker Bankroll and Rakeback Resource. (The loser, provided they put in a respectable amount of effort will get $20 courtesy of UPB and RR.) Neither man walks out with his dignity.

Additional Prizes: Something Awful Goon Sheep-Goats is offering $20 on Full Tilt Poker to the winner.
Fellow goon ZeroStar is also offering $100 to the winner.
Goony goon Stefan Prodan will put up $50 to the winner.
Goony bird Aredna will pay the loser 50% of their winnings. “i.e. Loser has $76.30 when Winner hits $100 – I send the loser $38.15”
Pool avatar loving artard is putting up $20 to the winner.
Suspected hockey fan Number 19 will pay $20 to the winner on FTP.
Oh yeah and two additional prizes that I’ve just added to the page:
The winner will get premium access to NBA Tipsfor the 2011/2012 season. That’s at least a $50 value.
Casino Answers will give a $50 Amazon gift card to the winner, $25 gift card to the loser.
Penthouse Pet and Howard Stern’s “World’s Strongest Naked Woman” Jade Vixen is putting up a month’s membership to her website to the winner.
AbsentMindedWelder is putting up $30 to the winner and $20 to the loser.
Regular_John is offering $10 to the winner.

Total Prize Pool: $390+

Your competitors:

Freeroller: 13/f/cali
Current Earnings: $110.58

In his spare time 13/f/cali theorizes on the meaning of Full Tilt Poker avatars.

Can Collector: Zizzyx
Current Earnings: $23.41

Why are we running this competition? On The Something Awful Forum’s Poker in the Rear sub forum a poster by the name of swisswis started the thread “Starting with no money.” He asked if it was possible to start a bankroll with no money. While we have a Free Money Guide on this site designed to help players start from $0 without making a deposit, it is very difficult to do, and almost impossible in the United States.

So the results were mostly satirical, but some people mentioned that you could grind freerolls. Freeroll grinding is very difficult and usually not rewarding, but some players have turned freeroll winnings into bankrolls that led to winning hundreds of thousands of dollars. Others pointed out it was easier to just deposit a few bucks and grind nano-stakes games. I however replied:

It is probably easier to collect enough cans for a nano stakes bankroll than it is to grind freerolls.

Something Awful Forum Goon “ultimatemike” a wise and prophetic man then stated:

This should actually be a prop bet at some point.

Zerostar even proposed the proper prize of $100, and the ULTIMATE POKER FACE-OFF was born! Would it be easier to collect cans than grind freerolls? Will the built in advantage of never leaving your computer to freeroll whore win the day?

You will follow these brave men as they attempt to build a poker bankroll from scratch. Will 13/f/cali go insane from playing freerolls constantly? Will Zizzyx lose an eye in a fight with a hobo over a bag of cans? We will have daily updates posted on the following pages detailing the entire contest, up until we have a winner or both guys quit and we need to find two more suckers.

Daily Updates:
1/25/11: Zizzyx
1/25/11: 13/f/cali
1/26/11: Zizzyx
1/26/11: 13/f/cali
1/27/11: Zizzyx
1/27/11: 13/f/cali
1/28/11: Zizzyx
1/28/11: 13/f/cali
1/29/11 & 1/30/11: Zizzyx
1/29/11 & 1/30/11: 13/f/cali
1/30/2011: 13/f/cali
2/1/2011: Zizzyx
2/1/2011: 13/f/cali
2/2/2011: 13/f/cali
2/3/2011: 13/f/cali
2/3/2011 Part 2: 13/f/cali
2/4/2011: 13/f/cali
2/8/2011: 13/f/cali
2/18/2011: 13/f/cali
2/20/2011: 13/f/cali
2/21/2011: 13/f/cali wins!

Cool Hand Poker Microgaming 100% to $350 10
Golden Tiger Poker Microgaming 50% to $200 9.8
PayNoRake Poker Tiger Gaming 100% Rakeback 9.2
True Poker True Network 100% to $200 8.6
Red Cherry Poker Everleaf 300% to $500 8.5